Chapter 564 putting this on hold
A week passed by as Yue Ling stayed home while Lu Tian went to work. Although she hasn’t been given approval to return to her regular schedule, she made sure to keep an update with work.
Everyday after working hours, Liu Shan or Lian Ni Shang would stop by to give her paperwork that needed to be signed. The two also informed her about work related and personal situations including the process of uniting De L’amour and An Qing together.
However, given that her subordinates have been doing so well, she decided to give them a day off to relax.
In the quietness of the house, Yue Ling and Inu sat on one of the white couches. The human and Samoyed stares at the other couch as if they were thinking very hard about something.
Like mother like son, a sigh escapes their lips at the same time.
"Alright, I can’t keep putting this on hold."
Yue Ling was the first to speak and she stood up. Walking over to the other couch, she reach for the stack of unfolded boxes she had asked Liu Shan to buy.
Watching her every move, Inu quickly jumps down from the couch. The two then walks towards the stairs and proceed their way to the second floor.
Yue Ling’s thoughts traveled into the abyss and before she realized it, she took her last step onto the hard floor on the second level of the house. However, for some reason, she felt as if she was stepping onto quicksand.
"Wroof..."
Sensing something is wrong, Inu sounds a faint bark as he stares up at his favorite human with a worried expression. He gently nudge the side of her leg with his head as if to bring her back to consciousness.
"Wroof..."
Hearing his second bark, Yue Ling finally blinked her eyes. She looks down at the little guy and a faint smile curls on her lip.
"Thank you for being here with me."
Holding the boxes in one hand, her other hand reach down to pat Inu on the head. She takes a deep breath and takes a step forward in the direction of her and Lu Tian’s room. However, just as she was nearing, she makes a left turn into a short hallway about 3 feet in distance.
She pause in her steps and stares at the closed door. Like time had slow down with her, she didn’t realize she had stopped breathing.
After what felt like an entire day had gone by, she slowly close her eyes as she takes another deep breath. When her eyes opened again, she whispers to herself.
"Okay Yue Ling, you can do this."
She steadies her heart and soul as she reach for the door handle. Slowly turning the handle, she push the door open.
What greeted her was a dark room and the only room they had installed carpet inside. There were two windows, but neither had been opened. If she didn’t know that the sun was already out, she would have thought it was still nighttime.
Knowing where everything is, she puts down the boxes in her hands and walks to the left side of the room where the biggest window is.
Pulling the curtains aside, she undrew the blinds allowing the natural light from outside to enter the room. She slowly turn around to look at the room that now looked like it had been revived.
The room wasn’t as big as the other rooms in the house, but it gave a very settle and comfortable feeling. There was the big window she had opened and one to the left of where she stood.
Placed on the corner between the two windows was a light grey recliner and a soft cream throw blanket folded on top.
To the right of her where the door is positioned in the middle, there was a white dresser on the right side. On top of it was a stuffed teddy bear she had made to look like Inu, a picture frame without a picture and reading books that have not been read. To the left of the door, was a matching color changing table and a laundry basket.
She stares silently at the dresser for a long minute, then she slowly shift her gaze to the changing table.
An unexplainable sensation crawled from every part of her body and joined together in her heart. As she felt this feeling, she looks to another part in the room.
Right across from where she stood was a crib that matched in color with the recliner. It was the bed she and Lu Tian had picked out for their child.
Although they did not know the gender of their baby, they wanted to prepare the room in advance, so it would be cozy and ready to welcome their baby.
Her lower lip slightly trembles and she force her heavy legs to take a step forward. As she came to a stop in front of the crib, she place her hand on the side panel and stares at the nursery mobile that hung over the crib.
It was very simple with a moon, clouds, trees and mountains dangling down.
However, it was not the nursery mobile that she was looking at, but what laid behind it.
Hung up on the wall in a horizontal line were five pictures frames. Each one held a photo of their baby’s ultrasound photo.
As this very room was the nursery room for their child.
After the loss of their child, neither she nor Lu Tian have stepped foot inside this room. She made the decision to put away everything inside this room, but now that she is inside, it was harder than when said.
"Not a day goes by that I do not think about you..."
She whispers her words and slowly stretch her hand to touch the picture frames. However, due to the size of the crib, her arm was not able to touch the pictures. Instead, her fingers touches the moon and she slowly flutter her eyes.
A very faint smile that held pain and heartache appears on her face as she shift her gaze to the moon. Her child was like the moon in her life. So bright that it would appear at any time of the day for her. To let her know that she is not alone. However...
"Because of mommy’s selfishness, you had to leave..."
Her lower lip trembles more like a matching rhythm with her heart. She tightens her hold on the side panel of the crib and gasp a sob.
"I promise I will be a good mother."
With the passing days, she thought everything will be okay, but that sorrow only grew more painfully. People say that time will heal, but for how long will that hollow feeling inside her becomes whole again?
When she is with others, she felt a part of her had returned to normal, but at the same time, it was like she can’t feel anything anymore. Like an empty shell that floats in the ocean without a life inside.
As she stares blankly at the picture frames hung against the wall, she then looks down to the empty crib. All the sadness she thought she had overcome found their way back inside her. It traveled through her veins and her entire inside like a poison that had no antidote.
"I’m so sorry..."
She sobs her words as her legs turned weak and she drops to her knees. Holding onto the side panel of the crib, she gasp for air and never-ending tears rolled down her cheeks.
"If my words reaches you, please come back to me. I promise, no harm will ever come to you. I will protect you and let no one take you away from me again."
As she pour her pain and sorrow out like her life depended on it, Inu slowly walks over to her. He may not be human, but he also has a heart and feelings. He sits down next to his favorite human as seeing her sad makes him sad too.
He gently caress the side of her thigh with his head as if to tell her not to be sad and that he is here for her. If she needs a shoulder to lean on, she can lean on his.