Returning to No Applause, Only More of the Same

Chapter 72, Porcupine in a Suit

Suffice it to say, merely attending one was enough to fry Kreigs nerves to the point of jitters at the mention of interviews.

It had been for a job as a cashier at a small car depot at the outskirts of the city. Nothing fancy, nothing that needed any special merits or anything. All it would need was a friendly disposition and a patient mind. Kreig didnt quite have either. Nonetheless, he was invited for an interview.

At first, he didnt even know what it was supposed to be. Funny as it was, hed never had to prove his competency in front of someone during his time in the other world, at least not in the same way as here. With the Order of Holy Roots, hed quite literally been summoned/kidnapped, so it was more so that they offered him a job which he couldnt refuse. The Empire did something similar, the whole interview process being more of a debate among advisors than anything involving Kreigs own volition.

Hed never had to verbally defend his aptitude for a position.

When George slowly and carefully explained the process of an interview, every step and quirk that may occur, Kreig could already feel his heart sink. Then, it wasnt just a matter of walking in and getting the job?

No, not in the least.

With the interview a week away, Kreig at least had some time to prepare.

In the evenings, he and George went through the process and held little faux-interviews. The most glaring mistake Kreig made over and over again was that he often lost his train of thought when confronted with a new question. He could pretty easily memorize standard questions (The gap was caused by a prolonged sickness), but anytime he was asked to elaborate, he just pulled a blank.

With more time to prepare, they could hypothetically have been able to try to foresee every possible question and prepare a standard answer. But with only a week of time to prepare, it was just not plausible.

While not preparing for the interview, Kreig took the time to shyly ask both Erica and Darius if they had ever been interviewed. Funnily enough, as he sat there asking follow-up questions and pressuring on relevant points, he realized he was doing exactly the thing he was so nervous about someone else doing to him.

Either way, he found that Erica had spent more time than she wished to admit doing interviews and searching for part-time jobs. One of the perks of being a student most of your life, she explained. As far as tips and tricks went, she explained that you should always try to stand out. Theres a billion guys out there who can be a clerk and stand there beeping groceries. What makes you special? If he could answer that with a confident air, hed probably get the job.

Though, at the end, she did warn him not to get his hopes up. Getting a job was all fine and good, and interviews were nerve-wrecking in every context, but preparing yourself for success only to collapse at the finish point was worse than it all.

Her words, although mostly meant to be reassuring, did very little to stave off Kreigs terror.

Darius seemed to have a very different impression. Though, then again, he had, in his own words, not needed to actively seek work for twenty five years. As he told it, before graduating with a degree in first psychology and then psychiatry, hed only had to have one part time job, and only because his father demanded it. After graduating, hed gone pretty much straight back to the university he recently graduated from.

Then, it was a pretty straight path into where he was right now. He got scouted about half a year after the first portals broke out ten years ago, and ever since, hed been there.

His advice for interviews was more so a list of subtle psychological manipulations that should help him. Kreig tried to remember them, he really did, but he was so stunned by the thought of turning someones mind against themselves (without the use of skills, to boot) that he could barely hear it.

Later on, completely unprompted, Sam recounted her interview for becoming a cop. Really, it was more of a psychological evaluation, but still.

She told him to be honest.

Kreig felt like that might be a bit hard when true honesty would probably warrant a call to her own station. George meant that it was less withholding the truth and moreso just not telling them all the facts. Kreig didnt see the difference.

And then came the day of the fated interview.

Kreig could scarcely remember ever having felt so nervous. Now that he thought about, before coming back to his old world, he was usually only ever nervous when facing a battle. Even then, at least, in that nervousness he knew that the punishment for losing was just death. Here, if he failed, he would receive a punishment far worse: the disappointment of his siblings. That was what he dreaded.

The depot was on the outskirts of town, and although George was very open to taking a day off to drive him there, Kreig denied it. Instead, he wanted to get there himself. The interview was at 8:30.

Kreig got up at 6:00 and walked there.

A long trek was good for him. It got his mind off of the facts of the matter.

Something he had no choice but to face once he got there.

To spare the details, it went about as well as one might expect from Kreig. He fumbled over a few lines, accidentally jumbled together two responses, and when they asked him which animal he thought he most closely resembled, he pulled a complete blank. In the end, he said porcupine. They looked at him strangely, and for a hot moment, Kreig wondered if he should wipe their minds and try to do it over.

They ended the interview before he acted on the thought, telling him theyd contact him if he got the job.

A week later, he got an email telling him he hadnt made it.

To say that Kreig was crestfallen would be a dire understatement. Anytime George or Sam so much as mentioned that he should continue searching for a job, he shut down.

It took a small intervention just to get him on his feet again, but the merest mention of having an interview was enough to make him blanch. Slowly, George was able to coax Kreig into continuing to apply for jobs though he seemed much less intent on actually getting an interview.

He didnt get any, which almost made him happy, but by that point, it had been over a month since he moved in. With no job in sight and Darius continuously bringing it up during their sessions in order to speak for the nation and IOCRO, Kreig finally decided that enough was enough. Applying for jobs on the world wide web would get him nowhere.

So, he went straight to the source and asked Darius if he would be able to help him find something.

Darius was surprised at the heartfelt plea, but nonetheless promised to contact his higher-ups and find if they could acquire some opening someplace. IOCRO, being an international organization of great wealth and power should doubtless be able to find him something.

Though, what that something was would be up to them to decide, and not Kreig.