Chapter 128
Chapter 128
TL: KSD
From a young age, I liked animals.
More precisely, I liked animals that weren’t humans. The word ‘beasts’ is more appropriate. I liked beasts.
Unlike humans, beasts do not bully others.
How peaceful their world is. They graze peacefully without harming others and frolic in dreamlands. At least that’s what I learned from cartoons as a child.
I still vividly remember the day that illusion was shattered.
Whenever I went to the big supermarket with my mother, I always visited the pet corner. There, I would beg her to buy me a turtle, beg her to buy me a rabbit, beg her to buy me a hamster.
Fortunately, my wise mother never bought me a beast, and my foolish self would pout and just look around before leaving every time.
Even just looking wasn’t so bad, really.
Then one day, as I was observing the pretty fish, I saw a rather peculiar fish.It was floating upside down, motionless on the water’s surface.
As a child, many thoughts crossed my mind.
That fish swims in such a strange way. How can it float so effortlessly on the water?
I kept watching to see when that fish would move, and it wasn’t until another fish came and started eating that identical-looking kin that I realized it was a corpse.
And I saw it.
That the bits and pieces floating abundantly on the water’s surface weren’t seaweed or anything, but all fish bones.
EP 8 – Dark Adaptation
There are not many people who know where Moon In’s studio is at Baekhak Publishing. However, there are even fewer who know the door lock code to the studio.
Lim Yang-wook was naturally one of those few, so he easily unlocked the door. He opened the door as carefully as possible.
Because Moon In might be asleep.
Sure enough, in the studio’s bedroom, there wasn’t a person but rather a caterpillar.
A long caterpillar, wrapped tightly in a blanket, sound asleep as if dead.
This unique species’ scientific name was Moon In.
“This guy, his day and night have reversed again…”
The pros and cons of being a novelist are clear.
Pro: You don’t have to go to work.
Con: You also don’t get off work.
For a novelist, home is the workplace.
Therefore, since they don’t commute, work hours are at their own discretion. This often leads to reversed day and night cycles.
Because there’s no company threatening to fire them if they don’t show up for work on time in the morning.
Even though Lim Yang-wook understood the unavoidable reasons for the reversed day and night, he couldn’t simply accept it.
After all, it’s not good for health.
“Sigh…”
Still, it was fortunate that unlike before, Moon In was not squatting on the floor but lying properly on a bed. It was worth the effort of dragging him to Ikea to buy a bed.
Of course, he charged it to the company card, but Lim Yang-wook, being loyal, considered the company as his home. Spending more time at the company than at home was proof of that. So, doesn’t that mean he bought it himself?
Convincing himself with this plausible nonsense, Lim Yang-wook looked around the empty studio. It always felt desolate whenever he came. In this large room, there was only a bed and a desk.
Since Lim Yang-wook was the one who put the bed there, the only thing Moon In had placed in the room was the desk. Even if you generously counted the chair, there were only two pieces of furniture.
He really had only what was necessary for writing.
Lim Yang-wook shook his head with a tired expression.
Even so, he stealthily headed towards the desk.
“Ahem…!”
As a devoted reader and editor of Moon In, the temptation to sneak a peek at his next work was irresistible.
Thus, Lim Yang-wook looked at the manuscript filled with Moon In’s writing,
And the vivid imagination of a veteran reader conjured up a vivid vision before his eyes.
「A beautiful striped fish gnaws at its friend’s flesh. Beyond the flesh, fish bones appear, and the view expands, highlighting the fragments of bones floating densely on the water’s surface…」
A shiver of horror ran down his spine.
Lim Yang-wook unconsciously put down the manuscript he was holding.
“This…”
Grotesque.
Gu Hak-jun’s writing style blossomed in the hands of his protégé. The cruelty isn’t in the red droplets of blood. The fear resides not in the visuals but in the emotions.
Cannibalism, fierce competition, suspense, and even a small twist.
Moon In had perfectly digested Gu Hak-jun’s teachings.
And for Lim Yang-wook, who didn’t know where such skills originated, he could only marvel at the boundless talent of Moon In.
“Really…”
So he can write things like this too.
Lim Yang-wook was impressed, and his admiration didn’t stop there.
Because Lim Yang-wook was a very well-trained reader.
He reads more than others.
To the protagonist, the world of beasts is a sanctuary. Because he fear humans, the animal that torments other beings.
Thus, he finds solace in beasts. In cartoons, animals don’t hurt each other and all live as good friends.
But nature is cruel. Seeing a fish eating its own kind, the protagonist realizes the laws of the world.
Thus, even the animal world, his last sanctuary, crumbles, filling the whole world with fear.
That is the worldview of this novel.
And also the world as seen by Moon In.
A word that slipped unintentionally from Lim Yang-wook’s mouth captured the essence of this novel.
“It’s dark…”
At that moment, a dark shadow slowly rose from behind.
Lim Yang-wook recoiled in surprise.
“Ah! You scared me!”
“You’re here?”
Moon In, who had woken up with a blanket wrapped around him, greeted Lim Yang-wook while still half-asleep.
But Lim Yang-wook was not happy at all.
Anyone who saw him in this state would feel the same.
“What’s wrong with your eyes?”
“What about them…?”
Moon In’s face, with dark circles extending to his cheeks, resembled a bamboo-loving mountain beast over which the Chinese Communist Party claims exclusive ownership.
Lim Yang-wook barely held back the urge to ask, “Are you by any chance Fu Bao?” (TL: Fu Bao is the name of the first panda born via natural breeding in South Korea)
* * *
How should I put it?
Lately, I’ve not been feeling well.
Surprisingly, it’s because of the novel.
I’ve written many dark-feeling novels before, but this time it felt a little different.
Is it because this darkness didn’t come from inside me, but was found outside?
For the first time, I was experiencing the feeling of being slowly tainted by darkness while writing a novel.
“…Are you really okay?”
Because of that, everyone who sees me says this.
I waved my hand, insisting I was fine.
“I’m fine. I’ve just been losing some sleep lately…”
In truth, I’m not okay.
Originally, writing novels was a way to release my emotions. So, no matter how dark the novel, I felt my hatred, depression, and jealousy being flowing out.
But this time, it’s the opposite. Writing about dark themes is causing my clear mind to be tainted by darkness. My thoughts are getting complicated, and I can’t sleep well.
On one hand, it was also an interesting experience.
Do other novelists usually go through such hardships? Thinking that this might be proof of my gradual improvement, I also felt it wasn’t entirely bad.
So I responded without hesitation to Gu Yubin’s concern.
“Are you really okay…?”
“Yes, I really am fine.”
Even so, the worry didn’t disappear from Gu Yubin’s face, so I changed the subject first.
Naturally, I began by mentioning the reason I met her today.
“By the way, congratulations on the success of your novel. I had to suddenly go to Japan, so my congratulations are quite late.”
“Oh, thank you.”
Gu Yubin, having received so many congratulatory messages, sipped her coffee with a familiar smile.
Then, with a playful expression, she asked me back.
“But shouldn’t I be the one congratulating you? Dongsaeng?”
“Me?”
“Your ‘Guitar’ swept both Korea and Japan. It’s on a whole different level than my brief moment in the sun with this year’s annual spring literary contest, isn’t it?”
Gu Yubin’s popularity was not at the level of a ‘brief moment in the sun’ at this year’s annual spring literary contest. She had now become a real celebrity, not just a quasi-celebrity.
So, I modestly declined her congratulations.
“That’s not my success but the success of the director who made a great movie. I was just lucky.”
This was not only a humble expression but also my true feelings. Success in the market is a matter of luck.
The luck of being born beautiful, the luck of having talent shine at a young age, the luck of people’s attention turning your way…
Aren’t too many things determined the moment you’re born? So there’s no need to be too happy, nor too sad.
But Gu Yubin had achieved success twice on two different timelines. Her success was more due to her abilities than luck. Whether it was her appearance or her skills.
Since I was the only one who knew about such achievements, I did my best to congratulate Gu Yubin on her success. She deserved the congratulations.
Unlike me.
“Such is life,”
No, there’s no need to have such negative thoughts. It seems that the depression that seeped in while writing the novel hasn’t left my head.
Or maybe my head is a bit sensitive from having my day and night reversed.
Just then, Gu Yubin questioned my muttering.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“No, it’s just… just talking to myself…”
I was about to brush it off but then decided there was no need to hide it. She is a novelist too.
“Actually, lately, I’ve been writing a novel, and since the content is so dark, I’ve been feeling pretty gloomy too…”
“What?”
“And I can’t sleep well either… It’s like that.”
Hearing my words, Gu Yubin’s expression turned serious.
“…Has it always been like this?”
“No, no, I used to be fine before.”
“You might have depression. Writing while chipping away at your emotions is really harmful-”
“Really. I tried changing my writing method this time.”
“Hmm?”
As expected of Gu Yubin, she stopped worrying and showed curiosity as soon as literature was mentioned.
I shared with her the insights I’d recently gained. And also the lessons that Gu Yuna had taught me.
Gu Yubin, who had been listening quietly for a long time, murmured her sister’s name in a small voice.
“…I see. Yuna did.”
“So I decided to look for the motif of the novel outside. It didn’t seem like a wrong idea.”
Gu Yubin nodded as if she understood.
“Certainly… ‘Red Hunter’ also contained personal content rather than taking motifs from history.”
“That’s right.”
“Hmm! Then this writing must be a significant literary challenge. How does it feel?”
“Gloomy and sleepy.”
“Not that.”
Listening to Gu Yubin, I looked inside my heart again. And there, I found a small thrill.
“It feels a bit like writing my debut work.”
“Debut?”
“Yes. Because for the first time, I’m writing about the world, not about myself. In a way, it feels like I’m taking my first step as a novelist.”
“…?”
“The world of literature is indeed vast.”
“…Debut? Rookie? You?”
From Gu Yubin’s bewildered expression, I read the emotion of ‘What the hell is he talking about?’
Come on, can’t I feel like a rookie for a bit?
“What?”
“Ah, no, nothing…”
* * *
The place where I met Gu Yubin was a cafe in the city center. Of course, it wasn’t like we set up an appointment to meet there. That would seem too much like a date.
Although Gu Yubin hasn’t done anything wrong to me recently, there remains a slight feeling of unease about her, like a baby-Hitler.
This is because I’ve been subjected to so many verbal abuses from Gu Yubin that I can’t help it. Especially now that she’s starting to show her old self more frequently since she started frequenting the broadcasting scene after graduating high school, my trauma switch keeps getting triggered.
So, our meeting was purely coincidental. We were both invited to the same literary award ceremony, and we decided to meet at the cafe beforehand to chat for a bit.
When the scheduled time approached, we moved together to the venue where the literary award ceremony was being held.
There, Lim Yang-wook was waiting for us.
Lim Yang-wook didn’t greet us with his usual sly remarks.
“Ah, the writers are here.”
It’s ‘are here’ not ‘You’re here?’. He’s notifying someone of our arrival.
I quickly scanned the surroundings. Amidst the crowd filling the event hall, I noticed an elderly man standing beside Lim Yang-wook.
He looked extremely kind-hearted.
His neat suit made him look like a gentleman, and his upright posture made him seem middle-aged.
At the same time, his well-groomed beard and white hair enhanced his authority, giving him an overall impression of being very dignified and affluent, like someone from the upper class.
But his face was somehow eerily familiar, and I couldn’t figure out who he was for a while.
“Ah, our Moon In is here.”
It was when I heard his voice that I realized it was Park Chang-woon.
Then my brain, like a robot that heard the phrase ‘This sentence is false’, experienced a Gestalt collapse.
Park Chang-woon without his hanbok and his danso flute? Isn’t it common sense that such a Park Chang-woon couldn’t exist in this world?
The mysterious elderly man spoke to me.
“So, I hear you’re working on a new work these days. When will you show it to me?”
“Who are you?”
*****
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