Immanent Ascension

Chapter 53: A Heart-To-Heart (1)

Shabadras had them leave through a back entrance. Afterward, they wandered the bazaar a bit before finding themselves back at the coffee shop where theyd first met up to start the mission.

Inside, Katayoun ordered coffee and Xerxes got an herbal tea.

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

Hes right, Katayoun said. Were alive. Unhurt. Thats what matters.

I know. He cupped his tea in both hands. But I really thought this mission would get me an officer commission. Fuck.

She nodded. Sipped her coffee. Why do you care?

He looked up from the tea. Huh?

She repeated the question. Why do you care? What does it matter if youre an officer?

He wasnt sure how to answer. Well, why wouldnt I want to be one? Theyre the top people in the class. Everybody looks up to them. Look at Gandy. We grew up together, and I always beat him at everything. Well, not tests. At least not all the time. But in martial arts and whatnot. Ive always been better than him. But now he might as well be a celebrity, and Im just I dont know, one of the crowd.

So?

He leaned back, his forehead scrunching up. I mean. Its important to me. Dont you care about that?

She put her hand on his wrist. Of course. Im just asking you why you care so much. So what if you dont become an officer? Only a few people made it.

Dont tell me you didnt at least think about being selected.

Not really.

He took his hand off of the tea mug to slip his fingers around hers. Are you serious?

Yeah. My testing went great. Im confident I got every answer correct. And the combat and spellcasting werent bad. But in my interview, I outright told them I didnt want to be an officer.

What? But why?

Because I dont want to be an officer. Xerxes, have you forgotten that we were conscripted? They didnt ask if we wanted to come here. They made us come.

Who wouldnt want to come to a college in Sin-Amuhhu?

Me.

He opened his mouth to reply, but no words came out. What was he supposed to say?

She squeezed his hand. We can talk about it another time. I just want to make sure youre okay. I can tell that youre upset. Is this really about you becoming an officer? Or is more to do with with Gandash?

He shook his head and sighed. I dont know. Maybe.

Did you ever apologize to him like I suggested?

I never found the right moment. Its just I feel like its not fair. Hes always had everything go perfectly for him. Hes smart. Rich. Then we get here and he instantly gets promoted. Its like nothing bad ever happens to him, and he gets the best of everything.

Why dont you just talk to him?

About what?

Tell him how you feel. Did you ever do that?

Of course! We talk all the time. Or at least, we did. Back home. As he thought about it, he realized he hadnt spoken much to Gandash since Mannemid. Never once had they conversed about the chaotic events preceding their departure.

Maybe its time to have another talk, Katayoun said, again squeezing his hand. Youve been spending all your time with the Swordmasters. I mean, I know youve had to split time with me. But the last thing you want is to lose your childhood friend because you found some new friends to play swords with.

Thats true.

After that, the conversation drifted to less dramatic topics. Later, they strolled through the bazaar a bit before heading back toward the school. Around the corner from the main gate, she grabbed his shirt and pulled him toward her. She backed up until she was against the outer wall of the school, and then she slipped her hands around his waist.

Maybe we screwed up the mission, she said, but we did it together. And we survived. I wonder if it means that we were meant for each other. She was looking into his eyes right then, and her gaze pierced his soul.

We are meant for each other, he said. I knew it from the beginning.

Me too.

She pulled him closer, so they were leaning against each other. Then, before he knew what was happening, she pulled his head down and kissed him. She smelled like oranges and strawberries.

A bolt of lightning ran from his lips to the depths of his belly. His head swam. His hands fumbled as he tried to wrap them around her. She pushed her hips away from the wall, and then he was holding the small of her back. He pulled her closer.

Then she pushed him away.

Hey he said, leaning his head forward.

She laughed, leaned in for another kiss, then grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the gate. It was over too soon.

Before he knew it, they were inside. She turned toward the girl dorms. See you tomorrow, she said. She walked to the door, turned, and looked at him. Her eyes and her smile were perfect. She held his gaze for a moment, then disappeared inside.

Did that really just happen? He walked back to his dorm room thinking about her lips, and the feeling of her waist. It made his heart pound.

Es back, Enusat said when he entered the dorm room, but Xerxes hardly noticed the words.

Youve been gone all day, Jad said. What the hell were you up to? Were you hey. Xerk. Xerk! Are you listening to us?

He climbed the ladder and lay on his bunk.

The three other mages devolved into jabbering. After what seemed like a few hours, but was just a few minutes, Xerxes blinked.

Hey guys, he said, leaning over the edge of the bunk.

Oh, youre talking to us again? Enusat said.

Sorry, I was distracted. Look, I got news. Were shipping out soon. Real soon.

How do you know? Kashtiliash asked.

Confidential, Xerxes answered. I cant tell any more details. Seriously. So dont ask. But its soon.

I thought they wanted all of us to be High Seers before they deployed us, Jad said.

I know. Youd better try to focus. I think they might send us out whether weve broken through or not.

Fuck, Jad said.