I Don’t Want This Reincarnation

I had already had an annoying dream, so my mood went down endlessly. I asked Cheon Sa-yeon, trying to push away the memories of the past that remained in the corner of my head.

“What is the situation?”

The voice that came out of my parched throat was harsh as sandpaper. He said that I woke up in 3 days, so I wondered if things had been sorted out to some extent after I passed out.

Cheon Sa-yeon handed a cup of lukewarm water and answered with a relaxed attitude.

“There are quite a few injured, but no deaths. Someone who lives somewhere was able to evacuate thanks to unreasonable force.”

I felt a thorn in the words, but I pretended not to know and drank the water.

“That’s a relief. What about broken roads or buildings?”

“It’s still being resolved. However, each guild has selected and sent guild members to help with the restoration work, so I think it will be resolved to some extent in a month.”

Cheon Sa-yeon, who took the empty cup naturally, raised the corner of his mouth slightly.

“Wash up and come out. We’ll talk about the rest after that.”

“…are you going to wait? Aren’t you busy?”

“Can I give you a hand?”

Cheon Sa-yeon held out his hand, saying something else. Get out, you bastard. Cheon Sa-yeon’s white hands clapped and I walked to the bathroom.

“I put clothes to change in the cabinet.”

“……”

Either way, his sense was good for nothing. I took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door.

* * *

After showering, I put on only my underwear and pants, and just held my shirt in my hand. Water kept dripping from my wet hair, so I thought it would be better to wear it after it dried a little. After roughly brushing my hair a few times, I opened the bathroom door.

Cheon Sa-yeon, who was sitting on the bed with his arms folded, raised one eyebrow when I came out of the bathroom.

“What is this?”

“What else?”

“Is it a gift?”

“……”

Crazy guy. You’re talking nonsense like a gift. Seeing my miserably distorted face, Cheon Sa-yeon smiled brightly.

“If you’re going to say something like that, get out.”

“How cold-hearted.”

I swept my bangs away, which was wet and covered my eyes. Drops of water dripped from the ends of my hair and ran down my collarbone and onto my chest. Cheon Sa-yeon’s gaze turned to the water droplet for a moment.

“Han Yi-gyeol.”

Cheon Sa-yeon rose from his seat and opened his mouth.

“You must have something to tell me.”

As I met his black eyes, I frowned. Yeah, there was. For some reason, it was embarrassing to speak plainly.

‘I feel bad.’

In this case, it would have been better to pull out. Naturally, I averted my gaze and answered.

“No. I don’t.”

“Hmm.”

Cheon Sa-yeon came closer to me, perhaps noticing that I was trying to run away. A cold wall touched my back as I reflexively retreated into the narrowed distance.

“Lying isn’t that fun.”

“What… ugh.”

Cheon Sa-yeon grabbed my neck in an instant. His unconcerned touch made my breath suffocate and a piercing pain rose.

‘Fuck, this bastard again!’

I cursed Cheon Sa-yeon inside and grabbed Cheon Sa-yeon’s wrist with an empty hand to escape. However, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get it off.

“Let me go, you motherfucker.”

“At that time. In front of the island gate.”

The eyes looking at me were very cold. Perhaps he loosened it on purpose, or cold energy flowed from the close Cheon Sa-yeon, and my body hardened. Like prey in front of a predator, I felt my hand shaking and swallowed dry saliva.

“Who came when I was away?”

“Ha, you crazy bastard. That still…”

“That’s what I’m going to say, Yi-gyeol-ah.”

“Keuk!”

It hurt…! An excruciating pain swept from the captured neck. Cheon Sa-yeon pushed me against the wall as I instinctively struggled to escape, twisting the corners of his mouth and smiling. Tuk, the white shirt I was holding fell to the floor.

“If you’re going to pretend you don’t, do it properly. You didn’t want me to know after putting out the t-shirt?”

“Gasp, uh…!”

“Who is it? Ha Tae-heon? Hm. I wouldn’t have time for that. If not Ha Tae-heon…”

The feel of the collar touching my bare skin was creepy. Cheon Sa-yeon, who had been contemplating for a while looking at me exhaling colourfully, slightly tilted his head.

“Is it Lee Joo-ha?”

“……”

“If it’s what Lee Joo-ha has to say… ah. Ha Tae-heon’s SS-class coat?”

The force on my neck grew stronger. I closed my eyes tightly and opened them as I felt my face flush with blood.

“Is it just that? Really?”

“……”

“Answer me, Han Yi-gyeol.”

He didn’t release the hand that strangled my neck to answer. I struggled to open my mouth.

“That’s, right.”

“…it’s more boring than I thought.”

Cheon Sa-yeon, who muttered with an indifferent expression, released my neck. A dry cough burst out of my throat as I quickly caught my breath. The tears that were barely hanging from the corners of my eyes fell.

“Haa, haa…”

Cheon Sa-yeon said as he looked at me panting while touching the neck that must have left a mark.

“When I asked what you were dissatisfied with, was it just that? What encouraged Ha Tae-heon did to make you suspicious?”

“Cough, ha… then what?”

Suppressing something hot coming up from the depths, I answered. Cheon Sa-yeon made a face that he couldn’t really understand.

“Han Yi-gyeol. How did you know where the SS-class coat was and how you got it… You must know why I didn’t ask. Aren’t you and I in the same boat?”

Contrary to the cold gaze, Cheon Sa-yeon’s voice was so sweet.

“We respect what we hide from each other, and we don’t wonder. Have you already forgotten?”

“…someone who knows that, pushes you like this?”

“Now this is different. How can I pretend to be ignorant when you say that you are offended by me?”

He was very selfish, just doing whatever he wanted to do. To me, who was laughing in vain because it was ridiculous, I frowned slightly as if I was sorry for Cheon Sa-yeon.

“I was hoping, Han Yi-gyeol, that you had a more useful thought. That’s too bad. Just like that…”

“Right.”

I was so annoyed that I didn’t want to listen anymore. After cutting off Cheon Sa-yeon’s words, I grabbed my sore throat and opened my mouth.

“The fact that you did that kind of shit in a place I didn’t know was just that annoying.”

Did you think that there was nothing you wanted to ask about me? Even after entering the gate of the G5 Area, I struggled to get my head around trying to figure out what Cheon Sa-yeon’s intention was.

However, in the end, what was left in my mind.

“You look stupid. Still, this is me.”

It was just the feeling of betrayal from Cheon Sa-yeon that I felt for a moment.

Pathetic and absurd, I believed in Cheon Sa-yeon. In the actions he showed me, I misunderstood that there must have been some sincerity.

“Still, there’s no second time.”

Feeling the pain rising from my neck, I lifted my head and looked at Cheon Sa-yeon. The smile on his face, which was shadowed by the light of the light, had disappeared.

“Because I’m not stupid enough to believe it even after being like that.”

“……”

Cheon Sa-yeon, who opened his mouth to say something, closed it again without spitting out anything. Blinking slowly, he sighed.

“…it’s really, disappointing.”

It was a dry evaluation, without feeling any emotions. Cheon Sa-yeon touched his watch, which had turned slightly.

“It’s not going to happen twice, so I should say I’m glad to hear that.”

“……”

“Just take a break today. Visits are prohibited, so we postpone meeting people until tomorrow.”

“What?”

It was an unexpected word. I couldn’t follow the flow of the conversation and only blinked, but Cheon Sa-yeon poured out his words without paying any attention.

“We have security personnel in place, so don’t think about escaping and stay calm. Healer Min Ah-rin will be sent tomorrow morning.”

“Wait a minute.”

Before I could even ask, Cheon Sa-yeon left the hospital room without looking back. Left alone in an instant, I stared blankly at the tightly closed door of the hospital room.

“What…”

Had you banned visits? So, was that why Kim Woo-jin and Min Ah-rin weren’t here?

It was ridiculous when he brazenly replied that he didn’t know me who was looking for Min Ah-rin and Kim Woo-jin.

As I turned my gaze, the face of Han Yi-gyeol, who was frowned upon in the mirror hanging on the wall, was reflected. A faint red mark remained on his neck, as expected.

“It’s really, disappointing.”

As I blankly looked in the mirror and touched my neck, Cheon Sa-yeon’s words I just heard echoed in my ears.

Disappointing? Who said that. That being said, I was disappointed in the first place.

“…anyway, you annoying bastard.”

I turned around and picked up the shirt I had dropped earlier. My hair was still damp, but not to the point of dripping water, I just brushed off my shirt before putting it on.

Even when I just woke up, my body felt heavy. After the unpleasant dream, I received Cheon Sa-yeon’s temper and there was no stamina left.

After I roughly buttoned my shirt, I flew over the bed as if I was falling down. I closed my eyes as I felt the soft blanket on my face.

* * *

There was something faintly visible through the pitch-black darkness. A steak with red blood was placed on a smooth plate. Dalgak. Dalgak. A voice filled with laughter could be heard through the sound of dishes hitting each other.

“Are you doing a ritual? Why don’t you eat it?”

Click. He put down the knife he was holding in his blood-soaked white hand.

“Oops. Is it too much to eat meat because your mouth is swollen? Sorry, sorry. I forgot.”

Shortly after those words were said, a bowl of pure white porridge was placed on a table full of food.

“Eat it, ung? Don’t look at me with those eyes. Yesterday I was so bad. I’m sorry.”

“Ho… gasp, keuk…”

“I didn’t mean to, but I’m under a bit of stress these days. You understand, right? I don’t usually…”

“Cough, cough.”

“Ah, shit.”

As the moans filled with pain were heard continuously, the lips that had been spitting out excuses twisted unpleasantly.

“Ya, Seokjae-ya (석재). Please clean that up. I’m having important conversations, but it keeps cutting off.”

“Yes.”

“How far have you been? …ah, why are you making that face again?”

A man who had been lying on the floor with his whole body crippled was dragged away with his back caught at the order. Thick blood ran along the man’s body as he got away from it for a long time.

“Should I not kill him? At your request, I can spare you at least one of those things.”

Dalgak. Dalgak. The sound of tableware hitting rang out again.

“But I don’t know if he has the money for treatment. He didn’t even have a single thousand won bills, so it’s like that. In that case, wouldn’t it be more convenient for me to just kill him quickly?”

“……”

“You’re really cute. The fact that you could still put on that expression even though I rolled it like that… Are you born with it?”

The dishes that were full in front of him were scattered like smoke.

“You give affection easily, trust easily, and then pretend you don’t and get hurt. Like a dog chasing after people even if it’s abandoned…”

* * *

When I opened my eyes, the muffled voice disappeared. I smiled bitterly at the bitterness.

I guess so. I thought I had fixed it to some extent, but it must have been an illusion.

In the end, the past I couldn’t shake off weighed heavily on my back.