Headed by a Snake

The table erupted in laughter... at Mister Ramon's expense, with even Lord Arod impossibly betraying a derisive smirk.

"Felicity!" Elladan nudged the giggling human woman at his side, "Maybe our guild leader could use a heal? For that SICK BURNNNN!!!"

​ No one liked being called a fool... and boiling hot anger rushed to Mister Ramon's demonic eyes as he puffed out his chest indignantly.

Feeling the danger, Coraline immediately glanced at the closest exit... then at Olesya and Lord Arod, the two armed people in the dining hall.

Thankfully, just as quickly, Ramon seemed to... deflate.

"WELL!! ...You ain't wrong, friend," He grinned.

"Aha! Good, good!" Giorgio clapped his hands, "We're all friends here!"

Ramon leaned forward, palms on the table, "How about you, then, Tychon? Huh? I bet you're just a lonely virgin, his nose stuck in the books all sun!"

"Tss," The young master scoffed. "I'm courting a young lady who resides in the City of Silva. I suppose that would be my choice of life-partner, as of current."

Felicity placed her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her interlaced fingers, "Awww... that's too bad."

Coraline raised her eyebrows in surprise. Maybe Miss Felicity wasn't as quiet and proper as she'd assumed...

"Felicity... really?" Elladan grimaced, no longer amused.

"I'm ready!" Coraline stood up, her chair scraping the wooden deck and calling all the attention to her.

That was certainly a mistake... but standing up gave her the fake courage she needed to speak in front of a crowd.

Or so she thought.

Felicity smiled, gesturing to her, "Let's hear it, Miss Coraline~"

"Go ahead, dear," Lucrezia gently urged.

Though Lady Lucrezia had initially said that Coraline didn't need to share... there was a starry look of expectation in the grey-haired woman's eyes.

Coraline couldn't let down the sweetest old lady she'd ever met.

And all this... was because she wanted to downplay Lord Arod's social ineptitude.

Bleigh.

"I don't... have-- anyone in mind..."

Coraline took a deep breath. She was stammering and she had to focus to keep loud enough to be heard...

"--but... my ideal partner is... someone strong... Maybe a little taller than I am? And it would be nice if he liked the outdoors-- hiking... maybe a little adventuring?

"He has to be... ultimately and unfailingly loyal. He can be a little foolish, sometimes... but it's fine-- because he always tries his best.

"And in difficult times, he must never... ever... give up. Not on me... not on himself... not in us."

Coraline bowed to the other passengers... and sunk down... making herself as small as possible in her chair.

The table grew silent... and Coraline felt beads of perspiration forming on her forehead from the pressure. She was glad she'd eaten something. She was certain she would have collapsed if she hadn't.

In the field, she'd stood against kobolds and demons and undead... but nothing was as terrifying as public speaking.

"Oh my gods... Coraline... you are the sweeeetest THING~" Felicity beamed.

"By the Flame," Lucrezia sighed as she took her husband's hand and gazed lovingly into his eyes, "Miss Coraline, thank you, so much. I think because of your words... I may have fallen in love all over again."

"(Every star in the sky has its pair, Sapling,)" Lord Arod whispered in the quietest of voices.

"I'm REAL strong... " Ramon stood up from his chair, towering over the other passengers at his full height, "but-- other than that... I am NONE OF THOSE THINGS!!"

"Well, that's obvious," muttered Elladan.

"But... you know. who. is?" Ramon's gaze drifted over each member of the table... stopping at... Mister Lone.

Coraline's heart skipped a beat.

Was Ramon saying... that perhaps that... awkwardly-staring ruffian was--

"ELL-A-DANNN!!" Ramon exclaimed, dragging up his companion by his wrist. "So how 'bout it, girlie? You wanna join my guild?! We're called the BADASS-ASSINS!! It's a combination of BADASS and ASSASSIN!! SSS!!!"

The table loosed a collective groan, polite laughter intermixed.

"Pffff, no wayyy!" Coraline laughed, her cheeks still hot. "But if I *was* going to join a guild, the Badass-assins would be at the top of my list, Mister Ramon."

What type of list that was, she made certain not to specify.

"Ahaha! SOUNDS GOOD!!" Ramon yelled, flexing his arms, "We'll be recruitin' as long as I'm a-LIVE and kickin'!"

"L-let go of me, you brute!" Elladan protested.

"It's a joooke! HaHA haa!" Ramon grinned, releasing his friend. "Elladan's already taken... unless?"

"That's a 'no, thank you,' Mister Ramon," Coraline smiled.

She wasn't in the market for a new adventuring guild... not so soon after leaving her old one. But it did feel very nice to be wanted.

"I am *quite* taken, thank you..." Elladan rubbed at his wrist, scowling, "Unless my woman runs off with a certain young master."

Felicity stuck her tongue out playfully, "And let you boys galavant across the Holy Country without anyone to keep you in check? Dream on!"

"Ohoho. Conversing with young people makes me feel HALF my age!" Giorgio smiled, standing in his seat and swaying lightly. "Then I suppose I'll take a turn, then...

"My ideal woman... who I'd want to spend the rest of my life with... is my wife...'s identical twin sister."

...Wh... what?

...Coraline was. absolutely. appalled.

The entire table was... save for the unfeeling Ancient, Lord Arod. Young master Tychon's response was pretty tame, too, granting a mere raised-eyebrow of bemusement.

Even Olesya standing guard in the corner had her mouth agape.

"Oh, dear husband..." Lucrezia sighed, "I don't have a sister, you buffoon."

The charming Popoto took his wife's gloved hands in his, "Then perhaps I could be granted the honor to court you, milady?"

"YOU!! YOOOUUU!!!" Ramon shouted from across the table, "YOU GOT ME, YOU OLD DOG!!"

Giorgio... that sly old man had done well. Calm returned to the dining hall, accompanied by good-natured laughter and the refilling of wine glasses.

"And of course, dear friends," Lucrezia inclined her head. "My answer would be the same. If given a second chance, I'd choose to be with my darling Giorgio until the end of my suns."